So today turned out to be rather lovely....

 
Making a cake round my nan's which was nice, its strange that i didn't see her for around 3 years and now its as if we have had a good relationship going. I feel slightly odd about it purely due to my mum being so distant from her and considering she's her real mother it all just seems a little wrong. But i asked mum if she was fine with it and she said she was happy for it to happen, so i guess ill take her word. However i do just wish their relationship could just reform perfectly into something like me and my mum have, because i know secretly thats all she's ever wanted. I hope that when nan came over she acted real motherly because it would've meant a-lot to my mum.

Also going round trish and steve's made me realise how I distant my self from my own family and I dont know why I do it. I hate the fact that my baby cousin barely knows who I am and almost backs away when I go to hug her, I just want that relationship to form. Also being with trish and steve they are such interesting people but I never give them the time of day perhaps due to the one time I heard them slagging off my parents. Still i guess everyone deserves a second chance...

I thinks its best i sleep on this all and hopefully by the morning gain a better perspective,

love hugs and kisses,

mayella xxx